“Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of roast goat.” – Johann Sebastian Bach

I must confess, elitism is an ugly trait in an individual, except for me and my coffee.

I do not like to drink coffee just because it’s coffee, I like good coffee. And I am always dreaming of the perfect cup with the perfect ambiance for which to drink that perfect cup. Therefore, the title of this little blog. I have never found the aforementioned combination, or either component of the aforementioned combination.

I enjoy buying beans to grind myself and I use a French press. I am always trying new coffees and have had much success. Much like Tiger Woods finding the perfect golf swing, Beethoven scoring the perfect concerto, the search continues. I think it may be out there somewhere. Maybe artificial intelligence can develop the perfect cup. However the relaxing aura has always eluded me and I don’t have much hope for the future. It seems George Jetson was always rushing around.

Pre-retirement Big Surf was always thinking about too many things during his morning coffee, usually “where are my shoes?”, “do my socks match?”, “can I make it to lunch without a meltdown?”, or my favorite “where in the week is my next nap?”

So in light of all of these queries to solve during my morning cup of coffee, I would just pour about three cups into my modern-day thermos, the Contigo. I would sip on this during the work morning when the opportunity arose. So…no relaxing coffee for 38 years.

Finally, finally when I decided to retire, I felt my coffee fantasies were about to come true. All those cups of coffee that were sipped in numerous countries, in cafes, on beaches, or looking at incredible scenery still did not provide what I was searching for…for me and my friend Joe. Surely now it would happen, the perfect blend of morning relaxation and java to start my day.

Alas, the start of my day is still filled with self cross-examination? “What am I doing today?” “Why don’t these contractors call me back?” “Will my money run out before I do?”, “The grandchildren are coming WHEN?” And the lovely blue-eyed darling sensually whispering in my ear, “Are you about done with that coffee?”

I am believing tranquility is an urban myth in this lifetime. Much like you-know-who in the title.

I was close to relaxing with my tasty coffee this morning until I felt the need to finish this humanity-saving blog.